How Not to Write A Query Letter

A Year of Sonnets #80

Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

Dear sir (and always Sir) I wrote a book,
a mighty tome that you will want to read
and represent, a careful, crafted hook.
The critics and committees all will bleed
their money and their praise: I’m Tolkien come
again — behold this shiny MFA! —
I channel all the masters through my thumb —
but not the sexist parts. (I’m woke, okay?)

This manuscript’s complete, a million words
and twenty-five, an epic fantasy
a story both for winners and the nerds,
set in the stars — the force is strong with me!

You want a sample? Sign this NDA;
I cannot give my best ideas away.