I’d Like to Know How My Story Ends

When you’re a perpetual bystander in your life, how do you know where you’re going?

Photo by Taton Moïse on Unsplash

I hate the old chestnut that “every day’s a new day, a new opportunity, a new chance to start over.”

I hate it because it’s a lie. Each day is connected to the day before it and the day after. They’re all strung together. Time is a painfully human construct, and the changing of the days just isn’t enough to change all the shit that’s gone wrong in life.

Think of it in DnD terms: I don’t get to reroll myself as a character every day. I get to continue on as the person I was before: the zero-charisma, zero-strength bard that somehow manages to survive.

Imagine if I woke up tomorrow, and I rolled as a rich person. Or a skinny person. A great singer. A great writer. A great adventurer. I could wind up being somebody pretty amazing. But, stuck with this character sheet, I’m pretty much screwed.

I don’t know what to do with it. And, to be honest, I’m pretty much losing hope. Today is shaping up a lot like yesterday, and tomorrow’s gonna be a lot like today. That’s what the day do.

Time is a continuous whole; all of the divisions are arbitrary. The new day isn’t going to bring anything new. And the only way that I’m not going…