Love Stories are a Fantasy Adventure

On being asexual and writing about attraction and romance.

Photo by Shelby Deeter on Unsplash

First, a bit of a clarification before we get to the good part of the story: for someone to be asexual means that they do not experience sexual attraction. Many of us — including me — still experience romantic attraction. I do not speak for all asexuals; my experiences are not theirs. Standard boilerplate disclaimer.

Because we live in a world where many people conflate romance and sex (and for other reasons, including my mental health and, honestly the way I look, I abstain from any kind of romantic relationships at all. That’s not true for all aces; there are many in happy romantic relationships.

But that, however, was never my destiny.

Growing up, I always felt a sort of intellectual curiosity when it came to love. Like, how does it happen?

There’s some sort of science to it, or maybe a magic. It’s a blurry line for me, like part of me is stuck in the dark ages, where I can’t be sure if what I’m witnessing is witchcraft, or if it’s a science so advanced that it might as well be.

Is it fate happening? Does the universe casts these people together, either forever or for a preordained amount of time, to love each other, to take care of each other (or…