Reading this has been helpful beyond words; you have no idea.

I’ve always been fat, ever since I was one year old. And now, at 27, I’m hovering around 550. And it’s pretty much the final straw.

I have always hated my body. I have always hated being out of breath, unable to run or walk or to keep up with other people. I’ve never been able to do any kind of sports well, I can’t go for a walk around a lake or a walk with the dog, or even on a walk with other people because, lately, I just can’t seem to breathe.

I’ve hated that I’ve never really been able to express myself through clothing. Part of that is being poor, but the other part is that there are certain things that don’t exist in my size, unless you get them custom made. And that’s never been an option. I’ve hated that things like having someone find me attractive, or having sex, or finding love, or whatever have always been off the table for me. I just can’t do that with my body.

And for the past few years now, I’ve seriously been considering weight-loss surgery. Especially the gastric bypass, which is touted as the most invasive, but the most drastic. I’m scared shitless about going under the knife — I haven’t been since I was a baby — but that fear is nothing compared to how tired I am of my body. I’m just tired of carrying this all around. I’m tired of not being able to get a job or fit into a desk, or sit comfortably in my car.

So I thank you for this, for sharing the good, the bad and the ugly. It helps me get a more realistic portrait of what to expect when all is said and done, if I decide to and am able to get the procedure — from what you say about the expense and the insurance, I don’t think it will be possible. But I can hope.

Again, thank you, from a fan and a friend.

— Zx