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The Answer is Always No
The first lesson I learned: Don’t Bother Asking
Today, I sent up a follow-up email about a job I applied for, and it was one of the most difficult things I’ve ever done.
When I was a kid, the answer from my parents was always No.
Not a sad No, as in “We’re sorry we can’t do these things for you. We really want to, but we just can’t.”
It was a No as in “I can’t believe you had the nerve to ask for that. How dare you ask for something that you want? I can’t believe that you’re so selfish as to actually want something. How dare you waste my time and take up my space with stupid questions and your stupid wants and needs? You’ll get what you get when I give it to you, and you better be grateful for that. Until then, get out of my face and stop bothering me with stupid questions.”
Maybe not in so many words, but that was definitely the sentiment.
And, after a while, you learn to stop asking. By the time I got into high school, I didn’t bother asking.
If I wanted to go to an event, I did it if I could afford it. If not, I didn’t. If I needed to go somewhere, I better be willing to walk or ride the bus, because there wasn’t a ride in my future. If I needed some paperwork signed for school, I signed it myself.
