Member-only story
The Art of Reopening Yourself
“I open myself
I open myself
one stitch at a time.” — Jason Robert Brown
I swore that I would never apply for a “real” job again.
After 18 months at my first real job, where I worked in a group home, taking care of individuals with special needs, I was at my end. I was progressively more and more in debt each month, living off of overdrafts with a maxed-out credit card. I could only pay my bills thanks to the payday loan center near my house, which was more than more than happy to help, at 172% interest.
I was only eating on a regular basis because my friend Kim fed me. Despite this, I had put on over 100 pounds during this eighteen months, thanks to a schedule where I worked the grave shift during the week, and days over the weekend, often going more than a month without a day off. Over the holidays, where the entire staff at my house would retreat to their families, my manager and I pulled back-to-back 12 hour shifts.
Somebody had to be at the house 24/7. And my co-workers took advantage of that, often showing up to their shifts 2–4 hours late, destroying my fragile schedule that allowed me to attend classes at the local community college.
Every day that I kept myself from swerving off the I-80 overpass that I had to cross to get to work was…
