Two Little Pills Can Change Everything

When water is destroying your life instead of keeping you afloat.

Photo by Ben White on Unsplash

My leg was definitely messed up.

But, what you have to understand is, my leg is always messed up.

But that wasn’t the problem this time. My leg was swollen.

I had a cellulitis infection earlier in the year — one that had sent me into the hospital, and one that basically rendered the entire surface of my right shin into an open wound, constantly draining fluid. And it was swollen.

So, I went to the ER.

In the last year and a half, I’ve become well-acquainted with the ER staff at the local hospital. It’s not a happy relationship. As someone who had greatly enjoyed the domestic television fantasies of ER and Grey’s Anatomy (both of which take place at prestigious medical institutions, I should add), becoming a frequent flier at a place the locals call a band-aid station left me feeling kind of frustrated.

That became a recurring theme in everything.

Every doctor or nurse I saw freaked out about my blood pressure. And I get it. I’m a very large person, and my blood pressure runs high. To the tune of 240/110 if I let it go untreated.

It’s hard to explain just how much despair I felt over this.

Over these months, my mobility went from “already kind of crappy” to “basically zero.”

And then, the break.

I had a doctor’s appointment with Jen, my primary care physician, on January 3rd. Talk about ringing in the new year, wrong.

I was nervous about seeing him, and kind of intrigued.

This doctor is kind of a polarizing figure in this small town. Some people love him, others absolutely hate him. And, even more personally, Shaunta had had some recent issues with him not coming through when she needed him to.

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I take a lot of medications.

Like, more than everybody else in the house combined.

The difference was immediate.

My first night after taking the pills, I didn’t sleep at all. I was up peeing every hour.

I feel like I’m coming out of a haze that’s lasted for nearly a quarter of a year.

I want to work on my book again. I need to come back to writing regularly on Medium. I want to start heading down to the Y and swimming regularly.

(He/They) Ninja Writer. Thespian. Queer. Essayist, poet, novelist. “In Search of Sunflowers” available on Kindle now.

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