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When All You Want is Sleep
Okay, so maybe my body craves a lot of things. But for the past several years now, it feels like my default state is tired.
I’m always tired. I’m tired when I wake up, I’m tired throughout the day, I’m tired as my mind races while I’m trying to go to sleep.
Oh, yes. As tired as I am, I have a ton of trouble falling asleep. Usually, something like a Tylenol PM will help if I’m not too anxious. But when the anxiety’s rolling, I can spend hours under the covers, trying to drift off with no avail. Then, once I finally fall asleep, I usually sleep for an absurdly long time — sometimes over twelve hours — before starting the cycle all over again.
I can’t help but think that this is one of the many reasons I love Twilight. Sparkly vampires don’t need sleep.
God, I could do so many things if I didn’t have to sleep.
Undoubtedly, some of this tiredness is due to physiological reasons, and some of it is due to psychological reasons. But I think there’s more to it than that.
I spent a lot of my late teens and early twenties not getting very good sleep. Sleeping on buses and trains, sleeping while sitting on the pavement outside school buildings, and then not getting sleep at all at home, thanks to sharing a room with a brother who’d punch me if I tried to turn the TV off.
