When the Words Stick In Your Throat

“macro photography of person wrapped with clear plastic bag” by Cristian Newman on Unsplash

I’ve been awake for about two hours, and I’ve spent most of that time looking at a blank Medium post. I’ve been wanting to say something, but there’s absolutely nothing to say.

I woke up to a couple of friends (acquaintances? I never know when to draw the line between friend or acquaintance. These are people that I care for deeply. Whether or not they feel the same about me? Who knows. I never know, and I end up getting over-invested. Call it my fatal flaw.) sharing good news.

I couldn’t find the words. Thankfully, the internet has a place for emoji discourse. Three hearts. Three stars. The heart and star combo is my go-to when I want to say something, when I want to send my love, but I don’t want to get in the way. It’s more than just a like.

I see you. I hear you. I send my love, for whatever it’s worth.

I’m a person who, for better or worse, lives or dies by his words. And when the words stop, everything else does. The poetry stops, the novel writing stops, my communication with most of the rest of the world dies off.

I don’t have a very deep knowledge of the subject, and I certainly don’t want to appropriate anything, but I spent the morning googling ‘blocked throat chakra’. Because that’s what it feels like. I can almost picture a mass sitting in my throat, something that…