Worried About Your Claps and Stats? You’re Not Alone.

Photo by Ezra Comeau-Jeffrey on Unsplash

I spend so much time worrying about my Medium, it’s not even funny.

Other than the work that I do for Ninja Writers, it’s my main way of making money. And, as so many freelance things are, it’s entirely within my control. Or, at least, that’s the way that it seems most of the time.

I could be reading more. I could be writing more. I could be writing better things. I could be figuring out how to grow my mailing list. I could be figuring out how to get more people to click over to my things.

I could be sitting in some dusty old classroom on a college campus, surrounded by sky-high chalkboards, choking in the dark as I scrawl out equations trying to figure out how the Medium Partner Program equations work. Do I need more comments? Do I need more claps? Do I need more views or reads or a higher view-to-read percentage?

I could be writing more exciting things. I could be talking about not having sex. Or I could be going out and having sex even though sexual attraction isn’t a thing I experience, and writing about all of the bad sex that I’m having. Maybe I should spend more time talking about orgasms or blow jobs that I’ve never had.

Maybe I should go out and live some kind of life, so I have something to write about back here on Medium, so I can make more…